September 26, 2016
“Repair Destroys Brokenness.”
Often times we hear in order to fix a relationship you have to own up to what you have done and try to fix what is broken. When offering an apology, you are really seeking to destroy the state of rupture that hovers over the relationship acting as a raincloud, constantly pouring on the two of you reminding you of the ongoing storm. The apology serves as the umbrella, the raincloud is still in the sky, but the umbrella makes sure that the relationship is unaffected by the storm. In other words, even though repair destroys what was once broken, the raincloud, or the past, will always hover over, serving as a reminder to what was once broken.
I have always been the type of person who tries to forgive and forget when someone sincerely offers an apology trying to repair what they have done. Even though I chose to forgive a person, the memory of what they had done will always stay with me in the back of my mind. The brokenness that the person caused in the relationship isn’t just repaired from an apology. I think that Spelman may be wrong when she says that repair terminates what is broken, but rather time is the real remedy to heal a relationship. As human beings, we undergo a myriad of situations where relationships are tested and people hurt one another. Coming from the side of the person who is in the wrong, an apology is necessary to repair the relationship, as long as the person is willing to accept. Just because the situation that occurred is repaired, doesn’t mean that the person truly is at ease with what happened. The past will always follow the relationship and stay in the minds of both of the people. For instance, do you ever notice how when you get into a fight with someone, often times the past is brought back into the present, even when it was already settled and repaired? This is because the past has a connection with the repair of things, there can’t be repair without bringing up the past. People may forgive what had happened and come to terms with the situation, but they will never forget or leave the past in the past because of the memory.
Moreover, Spelman writes this short and sweet sentence to simplify what the purpose and role of repair is for. It means exactly what it says, when something is broken, repair can fix it: However, when talking about a human being, rather than an object, how does one know if the repair actually destroyed not just the physically aspect, but the emotional aspect of the brokenness done. How can a person who suffered through the Holocaust or someone who lost a loved one ever really return to a basic state of functioning if the memory is forever apart of them? These questions really depend on how mentally and emotionally willing a person is to go through life as Spelman would say, at a “basic state of functioning.” Cars basic state of functioning require them to be able to bring people from one place to another. Humans on the other hand are more complex and the question “Can a person ever achieve a functioning state” is something to consider. Not only can emotional healing such as relationships come into affect, but physical injuries can put an emotional toll on the way a person functions, even after the repair. Tearing my ALC, makes me validate that repair isn’t what heals brokenness, but time does. After my surgery and the months that I had to go through in order to heal, I still am not back at where I want to be. The old me was carefree, adventurous, and up for any challenge when it came to competition. My leg is healed and I was “cleared” to be back to normal, but the mental aspect of the injury and the memory will always stay with me, making it almost impossible to ever truly get back to being myself. Now when ever I watch, think, or try to play the sport that caused me the suffering, both physically and emotionally, I think about the memory of becoming broken. Sports injuries happen all the time and many athletes recover into even better athletes than they were before. The repair didn’t make them stronger, but rather the time they needed to get over what had happened and come to terms with their circumstance. Every person is different and it all depends on the time your mind needs to feel at ease with the past, taking the brokenness that hovers over you, and seeing it as something that made you stronger.